#finding the niche of where to go and what to do
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I will also say, after taking some time to grieve, maybe think about what positive they added to your life and see if there's a different way you can fill a similar need. Maybe not in an identical way, but if they were someone who you enjoyed watching a show with, maybe see if there's another friend who works enjoy texting with you about a different show. If you used to do a craft together and none of your other friends like crafts, see if there's a local crafts club where you might be able to find new people that enjoy something similar. It may take building new relationships or investing more and expanding existing relationships, and chances are it's going to be uncomfortable and take a while, but I promise—while you'll never find someone that fills that exact same niche in your life, you'll find different people that each give you something similar to the different good aspects this one person have you. And by building new relationships and depending your existing healthy relationships, you'll find whole new ways that those relationships offer you joy and fulfillment. So take the time you need to grieve. And then build back better with people that deserve it.
Sometimes, in fact a lot of the time, cutting contact with someone feels terrible.
You might feel guilty over what they're experiencing. You might miss them, and be grieving the loss of that relationship (which is still valid by the way, even if you chose to end it.) Sometimes it's that you feel lonely without that person. Or you're missing something in your life.
Often, the people we cut out did add something to our lives, even if the negative outweighed the positive. Maybe they were the person you sent funny cat memes to without second thought, and now you have to adjust to not having that anymore. You see those cat memes, and feel the instinctive urge to send it and have to catch yourself. And now, you just scroll on. Maybe they were the person that you messaged each week when that specific show aired and you knew they were watching it too. Maybe you don't even want to watch that show anymore because it hurts.
This is a reminder that even if it feels terrible, there's a reason you did it. And it's worth it. It might take a long time to feel like it's worth it, but eventually it will. It isn't always easy to leave someone. I think in most cases, it's actually really hard, even if you know it's best for you. Stay strong in your decision. You made it for a reason.
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ok depresso week is over, back to deliberate hyperfixation on bg3:
It is absolutely wild to me that people take Astarion to the foursome with the drow twins (romanced, spawn, post-cazador) and are shocked, shocked I tell you, that he has a bad time. But it leads me to think that there's an interesting conversation to be had here about morality applied to video games. I'm going to be using what's a bit of a strawman tbh, what I would consider an archetypical, "good person" gamer for this niche example.
(3k essay under the cut about irl morals vs video game behavior, my take on why Astarion agrees to the orgy, beating the dead horse of Astarion discourse now that the fandom has cooled off enough I might not get flogged for it, and all my election stress being translated into an increasingly bitchy narrative voice that I hope is at least mildly amusing.)
"Good Person Gamer" romances Astarion. They're probably female, which I am mentioning exclusively so I can turn that into "Good Girl Gamer" 😏, or G3. G3 picks nice dialogue options. G3 tries to support their companions, and finds diplomatic and moral solutions to problems. G3 saved the tieflings. G3 still romances Astarion because he's hot, and vulnerable, and it's not like he forces you to be evil - he just complains a bit when you save kittens stuck in trees, but you get that approval back anyway just by being nice to him. Talk him out of Ascension and you've proven to yourself he's got a good soul under all that attitude anyway. He'd healed! You banged on his grave! It's all good now!
The brothel is fun. The drow twins are hot. It's always fun when games lets you do spicy things like have threesomes and orgies! We're sex-positive! Look, the drow twins said they love their job! It's totally fine! G3, as most people, probably does not do these things in real life, but that's the fun in video games: you get to be someone you're not.
And then Astarion noticeably dissociates. He throws himself in the center and lavishes everyone with attention; he's a professional, you know. Even an unromanced Tav/Durge notices something's off, and Astarion replies something along the lines of "you don't have the right to look at me like that," presumably with worry, distress, or sympathy.
G3 is upset. They did everything right - they didn't want to hurt him, and Astarion himself said he wanted this. Why couldn't they stop midway through and remind him that he doesn't have to hurt himself? Why couldn't they talk about it afterwards, and clear the air? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HURT ME
Now, to all the G3's out there: if you were dating a person with extensive sexual trauma, having been raped literally thousands of times, would you suggest having a threesome/orgy? With prostitutes, if that's better or worse? Putting them on the spot before your mutual friends? Would you wait a few years to mention the idea, or would you do so only weeks/months into a relationship? Your first "I love you" might have only been yesterday.
And most people, I think, would say "No." Writing that scenario outside of the lens of a video game makes it sound insane - of course you wouldn't! I'm not saying that they should never have group sex or that it can't be done, but I think most people instinctively get how that would be a shitty thing to do in that context, especially without discussing it in depth beforehand and making sure you're both on the same page.
And this is the meat of the issue. Most gamers play good-aligned characters: there's a strong culture of wanting to play the hero and saving the day. But tied into that cultural monomyth, in society itself, is the idea that sex is a reward at the end. You get sex at the end of the romance arc. The date where you have sex is one of many milestones, and you're not really dating if you haven't done it yet. Some people don't have sex until their wedding night. Threesome scenes especially are a video game classic: old-school God of War, for instance, had a hidden room in every game with scantily-clad women just waiting for you to button-mash away, a little treat for the player's keen puzzle-solving abilities.
Not all romances in BG3 have sex or end with sex, (some even start with sex), but that is because BG3's character writing tries to ground itself in reality despite being a medium people utilize for fantasy. Role-playing a "good" character is mostly easy: you typically know which dialogue choice is the ethical choice, can chide Astarion for being racist, can save the numerous children with moral ease - and BG3 rewards this: a good playthrough is more fleshed out, because you haven't killed off half the cast. You get better gear. You have more allies, better allies. You know what to do.
Or, well, mostly. BG3 is kind of special imo because even the good choices have a lot of nuance, where two people can make different choices but still feel like they both picked the most ethical one. Take Shadowheart's parents, for example: they beg for her to let them go so they can die and save their daughter. Saving them leaves Shadowheart in Shar's clutches - she will experience pain for the rest of her life, but regains her parents, and with luck, Selûne will claim her soul when she dies. Kill them, and Shadowheart is free - truly free, to live her life on her own terms, free from Shar and Selûne both. Both can be the ethical choice, depending on your morals.
"But if Astarion didn't want to have the threesome, the game should have let me stop midway through/made it clearer that this would happen. He said no before Cazador - why couldn't he say no again? Why would Larian put me in this position and make me feel bad when I thought everything was alright? I wanted to be good and have fun, not feel like I pressured my boyfriend." - Strawman G3.
Because BG3 treats it's characters like people. Multiple companions make choices outside of what the player character decides for them - Shadowheart's decision to save or kill her parents, kill or save the Nightsong, or Gale, to go for the crown or not depend on what events they are there to witness personally, or can be informed by conversations you have in camp about unrelated issues. You can fully let them make their own decisions and be surprised each time as they develop into different people with each successive playthrough. A lot of people are surprised when Gale goes for the Crown of Karsus without their input. In my last multiplayer playthrough, we could not prevent Shadowheart from wanting to kill the Nightsong, and so we were forced to kill her.
Astarion is not like that. The way he talks about Ascension changes depending on your relationship. If you're merely friends, he acknowledges it's probably a bad idea, even, in direct contrast to the somewhat obsessive and frightening way he pursues it in a romantic relationship. But Astarion can't decide what to do at the end: he has no hidden point system, no hidden flags - he will always pursue Ascension even if he knows it's a bad idea, because Astarion does not trust himself, has no experience trusting himself, and needs help. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, he needs support to make his own decisions, because in that moment, he cannot be objective.
(If Astarion is ever objective is another story....)
So much of Astarion's reactions and opinions are instinctive and unthinking. "Don't let the pixie out of the lantern, are you an idiot?" -> "A pixie! And honest-to-goodness pixie! *giggles*"
"We don't need a urchin hanging around." -> Astarion approves if you help Yenna
etc. etc. etc. There's so many times he says one thing, the cruel thing, the "fuck everyone else, I've got mine"-thing, and then approves when you do the good thing. Astarion does not live in line with his values (besides pursuing a growing need for freedom) and he frankly does not really know what his values even are.
Astarion doesn't react with glee to finding all the people he seduced - who inadvertently raped him, though they didn't know, some lowlifes and scoundrels and people having a bad day and even some sweet, naive virgins like Sebastian, who took that smoking hot Elf on his word and followed him home, probably in disbelief someone so gorgeous would pay them any attention at all - tortured and locked in a dungeon underground. He's crushed by guilt. He's in pain. Astarion delights in you causing others pain (the torture scene) because it aligns with his worldview, the joy of seeing someone else suffer for once. But he's not a cold-hearted murderer. (And yes, I am differentiating between "adventurer kills a bandit" murder and "deliberately killing someone you know for reasons/no reason" murder.) He doesn't hurt anyone in camp - Shadowheart and Lae'zel are far more dangerous than him. You never have to stop him from drinking anyone else to death. Even if you never feed him again, never use his bite attack, he never bites anyone in camp. Despite being a vampire, Astarion is, effectively, harmless. (Bite night was about checking whether or not Cazador's old command's still worked. It's his first real attempt at freedom, proving to himself that he's free from compulsion. Hence why the roll to get him to stop is a 5, giving you a 75% likelihood of succeeding. He doesn't actually want to kill you. And you get two chances!!!)
Astarion doesn't enjoy death for the sake of death. He's terrified if you side with the goblins and kill the tieflings despite goading you into doing it. I don't doubt that he could hurt others (god knows he's got enough feelings to work out that way), but there's a significant difference between a little knife play and condemning thousands of people to be tortured in the Hells for all eternity. Sacrificing his siblings is different, because they, like him, are guilty, and deserve their deaths. He agrees to sacrifice his fellow spawn as an act of self hatred, of self harm. But all those other people stupid enough to want to sleep with him? Given a day to think about it, I think Astarion would agree that that's not right - and that's why he thanks you for preventing his Ascension. That much murder isn't him. He can be thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, but Astarion isn't a psychopath.
Take him to the brothel, and slipping back into that role, the seductive rake, it as easy as breathing. I don't think Astarion has ever thought about if he's the type of person to enjoy group sex, or even if he wants it. I don't doubt that Astarion enjoys sex, that he wants to have sex (he is, after all that, still shockingly horny), but he's just discovered the idea of having sex with someone he loves. He's riding that high. Of course he says yes: not only is he a different man now (he's free!), it's something he's done a thousand times already - maybe it'll be different this time, maybe something has changed - or maybe, an orgy was on offer, so of course Astarion is there. It's his purpose. He's been doing it for 200 years. Where else would he be?
What I'm saying is that Astarion didn't think about what sleeping with the drow twins meant for your relationship, or how he would feel about it at all. He just went for it. He had a bad time. You then don't discuss it because that would mean admitting that he finally made a choice by himself and it backfired. He didn't think, or maybe he did, and it turns out he just doesn't know himself. Why discuss it? A relationship with G3 apparently means group sex. They probably asked twice. They backtracked all the way to Wyrm's Crossing post-Cazador. Will they ask again? How many times can he say no?
In reality, in the real world, the act of asking can be the problem in and of itself. If your significant other/spouse/lover asks you to do something you don't want to do, be it a threesome, anal, opening the relationship etc, these actions have consequences. The act of asking doesn't happen in a vacuum like it does in video games: there is a cost associated with it, a gamble, and while it may pay off, it may not. Some people get worn down and agree to things they don't want to do. Sometimes you break up because the act of asking is so inherently disrespectful you can't reconcile your differing wants and needs. If you're dating someone who has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of being cheated on, you don't ask 2 months into a new relationship if you can fuck other people. This should not come as a surprise to you, to G3, to anyone. It's common sense.
BG3 giving you the opportunity for a foursome with Astarion not only to give the player their hot'n'spicy sex scene (then playfully bops you on the nose by making it a fade-to-black, you naughty little perverts, you), but also to continue its theme of treating the player like a mature adult, who is dealing with other mature adults, and who can and should live with the consequences of their own actions. Subsequent patches have watered this down, I admit, but I do believe that that was the ethos guiding their work from the beginning. BG3 wants you to interact with the characters like people. If you roll over and tell them what they want to hear, you will Ascend Astarion, and he'll enslave you in turn. If you agree with Gale on everything, he will kill himself and you - or, he'll become a god, becoming the exact sort of god he used to rail against. Agree with Karlach, and she will rather die than go back to the Hells. You get my point.
"But Larian could have let me check in on Astarion midway through. Maybe it was a mistake to ask, but they should have let me check on him and stop it all if he wanted. I was trying to trust him to make his own decisions." - Strawman G3
Ok. We add a dialogue option. "Astarion, love, are you alright? We can stop at any time if you want."
Astarion disapproves (-5)
He's not backing out. Thank you for asking, darling, but fuck off. (I don't think he'd actually say fuck off but the implicit message would be there. I can't see Astarion stopping midway through, nor appreciating you doubting him. Nothing changes.)
"But I still feel bad." - Strawman G3
And I completely understand that. It's a video game. Don't worry! Of course you should get your sex scene - it's a reward! You got their approval high enough! You have enough charisma points! In DA:O, you can also have an orgy, unlocked by giving your companions enough gifts! It's a game! You have enough points, you get the thing!!! You killed Cazador - you win! Have your cake and eat it too! Congrats, you unlocked your hot slutty vampire elf who's basically a trained courtesan, who needs you to be his moral compass, who will never leave you so long as you don't actively rape him - enjoy all the fun orgies in your future!
Your actual choice - the choice the game gives you - is to realize that taking what's essentially a human trafficking victim to a brothel is a dumb idea, but they didn't want to punish you for it.
"Well, Astarion should have said something then. He said no before, he can say no again." - Strawman G3
If you go through life pushing peoples boundaries and expect them to verbally tell you what you're doing wrong, you're gonna be friendless and have a bad time. This ties back to both Astarion having difficulty knowing and defending his own values, BG3 trying to let you make your own decisions without setting out a clear "good or bad" path on occasion, and the hope that you'd use your own morals to make decisions. G3 would never behave in this way irl, and that's where the shock comes from, the guilt from committing an action they thought was without consequence in a risk-free fantasy scenario, and then feeling unpleasantly surprised when called out.
But it's a video game, and you didn't get the little zap, the little sting of an Astarion disapproves in the corner that told you you made the wrong choice. In fact, because he doesn't disapprove, it's not actually the wrong choice!
It really was mean how the Narrator made G3 feel bad, wasn't it. They didn't mean to hurt him. Astarion doesn't mention it, so it's probably fine.
... have you talked to Halsin yet? Surely he had a good time. Right?
CONCLUSION
People think they're good and moral and will typically behave "heroically" in video games. Games support this and reward players for doing so. The "good path" is expected to be clear. However, video games are not real life no matter how much they play at immersion, and multiple games have trained players in a linear "do x, receive y" type fashion. Sex is a reward in games, and is treated that way in real life as well, so players expect the Sharess' orgy scene to be a reward, and are then shocked when Astarion/Gale/Halsin etc reveal during or afterwards that they had a bad time. This is because Larian wants you to treat BG3 like a role playing game and interact with it seriously, and isn't afraid to boop you for your actions in ways that mimic real life relationships. This ethical dissonance makes people uncomfortable especially when they play games to role-play as someone better than themselves, and are surprised when they aren't herded down predetermined "good" paths via instantaneous approval/disapproval mechanics or unlockable "ideal" dialogue.
It is absolutely possible that someday Astarion might be into meaningless group sex with prostitutes for fun and pleasure. However, that is the sort of thing you'd probably either wait for him to bring up by himself organically, or discuss in a long-term trusting relationship after he's had potentially years to process the idea of not immediately hopping into bed with someone, as well as disentangling his instinctive "beaten-in" sexually available behavior from his actual desires. People much more emotionally mature and undamaged than Astarion have destroyed their own relationships by inadvertently pushing a partner (or themselves) into various forms of group sex or other sexual acts. It's not something you do on a random Tuesday on a whim.
Or maybe it is, and I'm just chronically boring and surrounded by boring people lmao
TO THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED THIS: I'm so so sorry if you ever see this, not trying to call you out at all hence no linking, I just wanted to pick apart why I think you felt that way. The thoughts just finally bubbled over after a year+ lol
#I deliberately waited for discourse to calm down before writing any Astarion essays so be nice pls#I don’t like fighting people on the internet#delta.txt#Astarion#bg3 astarion
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Cain being ambiguously aged is probably a big sigh of relief. To me. Not even for shipping purposes I don’t think he and Mercury would get along that way? At least from what I’m seeing so far. but seeing as how he tends to flirt with others already and the innuendos that pop with it. I’m relieved he isn’t 15.
Edit: ok the range given/suggested is 17-19. I’m leaning to 19. That’s the “oh fuck I have independence (joy and dread) what image should I keep” vibes I get from the guy.
#talk#actually there’s a whole dif subject in there I could talk about#like I get What it’s going for but imo there’s just some lines in the sand#I’m very critical about media portrayal of certain things. and message it displays#and already I can wrap around Why Cain’s previous canon age was that but also grimace at the same time.#so the retcon to me is a relief#he’s like a young adult to me imo . I’ve been spoiled about the gist already#reminds me of someone leaving home for the first time and going on some crisis of a journey in being independent and discovering themselves#but like the laces of firstly being an adult and#finding the niche of where to go and what to do#the freedom to express who you are for the first time.#a new life out of the old one but ur boots are shaking with every step you take
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#not to vague abt a particular niche of a fandom no one cares about BUT im losing my mind a bit#bc there's a ship that literally got me so invested that i read fanfiction for the 1st time. i adore them so much#i think their canon relationship is so fucking lovely and its bullshit what happened to them. if u kno u kno.#but now i go to ao3 and try to find fics and im like... yo y do these all fucking suck?#like i get it. no one has given a fuck abt this fandom since like the 2010s but i mean ive read lots of way better fics for waaaay#tinier fandoms. i guess thoses ppl just cared way more. no one gives enough of a fuck to write a good fic for these 2.#ugh. im probably just being a bitch. like is it bc its a heterosexual ship? is the bar really so low for writing straight relationships that#they have to b so fucking boring immediately???? like what the fuck is happening. i feel like im losing my mind#wheres the passion? where the dedication? wheres the willingness to die for eachother and fight side by side?#its all boring bullshit or weird self insert feeling smut. or maybe its me. maybe im the problem bc i refuse to read the fics that have#adultery and divorce in them bc im so in denial abt the ending of bleach that i cannot stand to even look at#the canon endgame ships. it makes me to angry. so yea maybe im the problem#i jus6 don't understand it. its the same for narut0 x s4suke fics. like????#did we watch the same show??? why tf r u writing them so weird and boring and wrong????#that one i them im right abt bc others have confirmed it. but idk abt these 2. my fucking original otp is cursed to toil away in bad#fanfiction. or maybe all the good fics r on ff dot net. but fuck if im gonna wade thru that hellsite#anyway. this is what u get when u get invested in terrible anime. i mean with peace and love it is my nostalgia show but like u kno#unrelated
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watching fandaniel go is wild because he is just [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] and yeah man that's a mood
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv fandaniel#the cutscene where he's dancing and pacing in front of zenos in the armory while they talk genuinely startled me a little#with how accurately the editing and camerawork captured What That Stim Feels Like#i'm less inclined to do Large Amounts of Spinning and Bending; and the way i get my arms involved looks different#but something about the energy to it and the center of gravity and the way he Turns when he steps is just Oh Wow Yeah Same#on one hand; surface-level he's the type of Unhinged Manic Pixie Dream Boy that you'd think would be a bit on the nose for adhd headcanons#(which would be valid anyway to be clear but still)#but like. motherfucker has adhd just look at him#and honestly i like that a lot because 'surface level' is the keyword here. he Has Depth and is adhd about it#i need to find that post about how masking doesn't necessarily mean trying to pass for neurotypical#among other things; it can look like playing super hard into Look at How Megadifferent and Quirky and Weird I Am; and yeah that's him#and tbh he kind of vibes to me as having gotten into Being an Obnoxious Flamboyant Theater Kid#specifically because it's a useful cover for being his brand of ND#'those damn wacky rich gay nobles' as an explanation for your behavior is going to get you a very different niche in society#than 'that weird dude who talks strangely and can't sit still and whose social cues are A Little Off'#'and makes bizarre disruptive distracting movements with his body while he talks'#anyway diversity win etc etc i love him#ableism mention cw#ffxivtag#FF tag
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Completely outside of my usual drawing niche, but yesterday I was talking to my sister and she showed me an old drawing I made for her in 2021 that I had deleted and completely forgot about. There was a period of time when my sister was absolutely OBSESSED with Wings of Fire, so I drew a humanisation (I can barely draw humans, man, I would actually combust if asked to draw a dragon) of a pre-canon younger version of one of her favourite characters, Peril, who I also have a soft spot for because, you guessed it, I found a way to link her to my main obsession :’) And when I saw that old piece, I just knew I had to redraw it
+ The original, low quality bc I screenshotted my sister filming her tablet screen over video call, under the cut to save myself some embarrassment 😅
#my art#artists on tumblr#wings of fire#wof fanart#wings of fire peril#peril wof#peril fanart#idk how to tag this I’m gonna be honest#if you’re wondering what the aforementioned link to my obsession is#it’s that peril is INCREDIBLY p’li coded. THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS#someone born with a rare and dangerous fire related ability raised to be a living weapon?#falling in love with the one person (dragon) who doesn’t see her as a monster and believes she can get better??#I cannot be the only one who’s seeing this istg#anyway#I’ve never read a single WoF book but my sister infodumped about it nonstop for years so I have plenty of random knowledge#sometimes I find myself singing the dragonet song as I’m doing something lmao#I once wanted to do a whole project where I drew every female character as a human…#didn’t get much further than this piece and deleted everything else I had#rip WoF humanisation#we hardly knew ya#might go back to it if I’m ever bored though. I still have all my notes#but for now. look at this precious baby child 🥺🥺🥺#also. yes. it’s been quite a few years and I still haven’t aged out of the habit of writing a character’s name in glow pen#and doing that squiggly underlining thing#you can pull that out if my cold dead hands 😁#let’s see if drawing for a slightly larger fandom will get me more reach than my impossibly niche LoK oc shenanigans
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remembering on my circa 2017 booklr I used to tell people to read Gemma Doyle by describing it as trc but with an all girls boarding school / all girl group in a historical setting… I was trying to do the lord’s work she deserved tumblr fame
#I do think that was an oversimplification of both but. Not totally off base there are some similar char tropes used I’m proud of past me for#the attempt. Also I think I’m going to start advocating for Diviners in that way now that trc fandom is apparently quite miserable post GW#you like gay people doing dream magic? you like witchcraft and ghosts and strong ensemble casts?#you like an ambitious abuse survivor getting a healing arc with learning to control magic/psychic abilities as a metaphor? you like four#book series where the first three books rock and the last book which is named king + corvid is a bit underwhelm who said that?#a positive point in diviners favor is Ling x Wei Mei >>>> RonanKavinsky. Generally find the take on dream magic in diviners more compelling#(although LingHenry + RonanHennessy both being mlm wlw duos who are the dreamers is kinda fun)#anyway. This is not actually a fair comparison because Ling is my fav or at least top two w Theta of the leads and I love Ronan but he is m#least favorite of the trc leads of which there are four all of whom I love so it says nothing bad about him. But it does put me as an#outlier re: fandom priorities..#on the flip side while I love diviners dynamics sadly I don’t think they ever come anywhere close to Gangsey levels of extreme codependency#so I can not care quite as much….#from what I remember the girls in Gemma Doyle are a lot more codependent good for them. Would have to reread to compare codependency levels#Ling and Theta are both my favorite in diviners in the same way Blue and Adam are my favorite in trc and Abed and Annie are both my fav for#community. basically one char who I love and overidentify with (Ling/Blue/Abed) and one char I love who in many ways I’m not like#but in a handful of very niche specific ways I also relate quite a bit. And am fascinated with (Theta/Adam/Annie)#s speaks#very off topic from my initial point which was you should read Libba Bray’s books#and in both cases I have a second and a half tier fav (Evie/Gansey/Britta) who I love fictionally but if I was trapped in a room w them I’d#kill myself. with the white blonde women I’d also want to make out w them debatable if that makes it better or worse#but like. I could not stand listening to them speak for that long I know this#Gansey might just die a third time by my hands…
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u know that whole "theres a whole world out there we're unaware of" thing that usually gets applied to like, unheard of network tv shows, the zynternet, suburban family trends, etc? thats how i feel when i hear about like, in person events or whatever via some random reel, like showing some massive hyper specific event with like hundreds of people doing some activity or at some place w zero context or explanation, seemingly in america just like me, that i have never seen or heard of in my life. like where did this come from? was this always a thing? is this a thing that only popped up in the last 3 years like a lot of weird specific trends? im not judging im just confused 😭
#like i just saw a reel of what seemed to be a rollerskate? dance battle? rave??? festival? with like. hundreds of atendees#and a specific term used to describe them that ive never seen or heard before#or there was some college party festival thing i saw vids of last yearish where everyone was wearing fringed pants and there were like 100's#of ppl dancing outside a gas station??????#but i do expect that w college sport culture somewhat#or when someone brings up a restaurant/club as if everyone had heard of it#idk if this stuff has always been a thing and social media just illuminated it more#or its just stuff u find out about as an adult and the whole time ive been an adult theres been a lot of bullshit going on#OR if its rly stuff that popped up post covid whrre ppl were trying to come up with events#like im pretty sure those massive interactive art events are a new thing#or the meow wolf stuff#selfie museums are also new but not post covid#but like idk ive heard of those things#its kinda like#yknow that video of all the cybergoths dancing under that bridge????#that was like an expected amount of people for that imo#its like theres anime convention level events happening for niche hobbies#i think in theory its cool im always just confused and apprehensive when ppl bring up stuff as if its a given#w absolutely zero preambe#*preamble#which isnt anyones fault except my own for having autistic childhood trauma based insecurities#this is me working out in real time why these things throw me for a loop#OR the very real knowledge that a lot of people are desperate to become influencers & grifters and sell u bullshit#and catering to a hyper specific market is one way to do that#anyway do u know what i mean or was this always a thing and these r just the ramblings of an insane person
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how did you like The Shining?
It was enjoyable, I liked the set design and I do like when a movie has a pretty fluid original soundtrack rather than prescripted beats. Hard not to remember that Kubrick abused the shit out of Duvall. I can see how people get very obsessive over interpreting this movie. I don't think it sparked that in me but it was like, worth the watch. Tbh I think if I didn't know about the immense hype around it I would be even more meh on it. I was sort of always a bit out of place watching it because, purposefully as far as I could tell, it felt as if everyone was acting around each other, without being an interacting whole, which was an effect that just didn't really play out well for me. If I even rewatch it maybe I'll like it more then but for now I'll put it in "It's always fun to watch a movie with my friends but this was solidly mid to me."
#asks#it files into the type of media where an overall simple story is made purposefully vague and more ambiguous and then lots of#specific details are peppered around#as to inspire people to think way harder about it even though#it kind of obviously seems purposefully lacking#which like. i guess some people enjoy that#but I personally prefer movies and books that just unilaterally commit to what they're doing#like it's not complexity that i shy away from at all#but nothing feels more limpdick to me than something that kneecaps its own message to provide a larger avenue for artiste interpretation#all the supposed interpretations of the shining are limited imo by the fact that none of them seem to be baked in as the dedicated thought#i'm all for niche interpretations#and i dont think author intent is The One True Interpretation#but I think a story should be consistent enough that interpretations can be very strong even if they werent the authors intent#or the inconsistencies should be part of the interpretation#which does seem to happen with the shining dgmw#idk#it feels like a very 'why are the curtains blue' movie. and i actually really love symbol interpretation and whatnot like that!!#i just like. when it is more cohesive. i hate when it feels like its being purposefully waylaid#im sure some shining fans may find this take highly degenerate but thats their problem#if youre going to do an abstract interprative piece#the main meat should still stand strongly on its own#and it just didnt feel like the shining's did for me
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Oh it's so over for You I've started finally working on my Good Omens fic again You can't stop me now
#v1nsincl4ir#good omens#thoughts#it's this fic where all the angels and demons are instead scottish mythos set in the highlands during the late 1500s-early 1600s#crowley is a kelpie and aziraphale is an urisk#and all of the locations are real#albiet i have little way of knowing how historically accurate some parts will be because i do not know what the area looked like in 1600#unfortunately#do you have any idea how hard it is to find historically accurate information on random scottish villages' histories online?#do you have any idea how hard it is to find ANY information on random scottish villages' histories online?#do you have any idea how hard it is to find information on random scottish villages FULL STOP?#because it's very fucking hard#but noooooo i had to have a very specific niche in my reawoken mythology interest that i've decided to turn into a whole good omens fic#and i was like oh i don't want to make up a “fantasy scotland” or something i know i'm not gonna be able to make the names sound right#because no matter how well you think you can create a fake scottish place name it is never going to sound quite right#or maybe that's just my perfectionism#and you know the wildest part is that i know the name of every place they visit but for half of the locations the readers WON'T know that#because both of them have no fucking clue where they are for half the story#but I DO#okay#I DO
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#dot post#ignore Morg#morg rants#9/10 times when I see authors write ''compromise'' as a theme they do it wrong#what you're writing is SUBMISSION you fucking fascist#If I am ''compromising'' on something I have either found a solution where everyone can get what they want#or I am being compensated in proportion for NOT getting what I want#this can take the form of a MUTUAL submission but you need to make that abundantly clear or else I'll think you're a wannabe petty tyrant#a character submitting to someone's wishes to [whatever] and finding out they like it is not a compromise#A compromise is ''if you go with my to this party I'll spend the same amount of time playing the game you like but I don't with you''#And if they like the party hey nice but you still need to like. Do shit THEY want to do you know?#I see it in romance I've seen it in childrens' media (a LOT) and I see it when the writer wants to write a ''difficult'' character#but actually instead just wrote an extremely believable Autistic or ADHD character who is actually extremely in the right#basically all the time but is punished by the narrative#ugh I wrote two versions of this rant and this is the less inflammatory one#but I really want to emphasize that most of the time when ''compromise'' is a recurring theme or gets a lot of attention in a work#is when I decide that I would never trust the author or the work's fans with even the tiniest bit of power or ground given#other people can make that mistake#I'm sure I've seen it done right before but that's the thing; if you do it right it registers as something much more egalitarian#and it doesn't end up STICKING OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB#Whenever I see another fucking ''learning how to woman like a womanly woman womaning'' story I start feeling homicidal#gender is actually a horror that we accept as mundane and as someone who LIKES other horror#I think that gender needs to become as niche and uncomfortable and ''weird'' as something to care about and participate in#Yes that's the spark that set off this rant it's gender#it's always fucking gender shit I am haunted by the fucking mirages people see when they look at me#I should go to sleep because now I'm tired AND annoyed
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Picky but.. when watching a docco/docco style video, while it can be interesting to hear about how you ended up in contact with certain relevant people, or how there were plans to contact people that fell through, or that you couldn't get in contact with them... I hate when the filmmaker harps on and on about their 'investigative' process and try to dramatise it.
Sorry but. I don't really want a 15-20+ min detour of you lamenting over trying to get in contact with certain people when all that's happened is you sent an email and didn't get a reply.
#not gonna single out any particular vid but I'm reminded as I watch a docco style vid on YouTube about niche/lost anime#and i hate it every time. it's a self insertion of the filmmaker trying to make their efforts shown or signalling for attention and shit#and i get it!! there's a lot that goes unappreciated and unnoticed when you're making videos and such#but if you're presenting your videos in a documentary style that's one thing.. calling yourself a documentarian is another#it's amateurish and uninteresting!!! it's a complete detour and distraction when you're talking about yourself in this way#like.. sigh. nuance. i know I've personally enjoyed some doccos/docco style where we hear about the process as they present it#there ARE ways to make it interesting and keep it relevant#but when you're essentially whining that all your cursory Google searches and 'deep dives' into people's LinkedIn's and IMDb pages#isn't yeilding the response you want... SHUT UP PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE#this is the kind of detail that makes it look amateurish (imo) and is probably making it harder for you to get in contact lol#ANYONE can go looking through a person's online presence. ANYONE can find an email or a phone number and try to get in contact#your whole thing as a docco maker is to do that work and curate it in an interesting and informative way so i don't have to lollll#like i know I'm being picky. there's plenty of awesome videos on YouTube made by YouTubers who have put effort in#but there's such a difference between the standard of professionalism and ethics when you're doing it on YouTube#it's not the only thing that frustrates me BUT it's one of the key things i notice that's indicative of the docco not being of quality#for what i want to view it for#it's especially frustrating to me when the topic is genuinely interesting and i want to see how you present it to me but you're wasting time#when you go on and on about yourself!!#there was one yt docco covering an artist and their body of work that i thought was interesting! but#they were already getting on my nerves even tho i stuck it out for a few hours... AND THEN THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT THEMSELVES#FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT. I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU COMPARE YOUR AMATEURISH SHIT TO THIS ARTIST#save it for the back end or an after credits or in some section that's for people who want to hear about you#don't grind the pacing of the docco to a halt cause you're desperate for attention and recognition. you're ruining the docco lol#also yes I'm aware that this is harsh coming from someone who's not even made a docco of any sorts but#if i do get into making it i expect this kind of feedback if i go awry and these are the standards I'll be holding myself to#WHERE ARE THE STANDARDS IN THE YT DOCCO SCENE!? there are a few great creators but there's so much shit#to me i think it overall grates cause like. it's not always being made with the intent to share.. it's made to get clout#and that's a philosophy i just disagree with#anyway wherever. pretentious film bro rant quota filled. i dont wanna hear about how 'difficult' it was waiting for an email that never came#rads talks
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hey, so people need to be aware that youtube is now (randomly) holding basic features for ransom (such as being able to pin comments under your own videos) in exchange for Your State ID/Drivers License, or a 30 Second Video Of Your Face.
not to pull a "think of the children," but No Actually. I've been making videos as a hobby since 2015 (and I've had my channel since middle school), I was a minor when I started and I'm not sure I would have understood the kind of damage something a seemingly simple as a video of your face can do.
this is a Massive breach of privacy and over-reach on google's part No Matter What, but if they're going to randomly demand a state ID or license then they absolutely should not allow minors to be creators.
google having a stockpile of identifying information on teenagers is bad enough, but the Alternative of recording your face and handing it over to be filed away is Alarming considering it opens the gates for minors who Aren't old enough to have a license.
and yes, there is a third option, but it's intentionally obtuse. a long wait period (2 months), with no guarantee of access (unlike, say, the convenience of using your phone's cameras for either of the other two), with absolutely No elaboration on what the criteria is or how it's being measured.
it's the same psychological effect that mobile games rely on. offer a slow, unreliable solution with no payment to make the Paid instant gratification look more appealing (the "payment" in this case being You. you are the product being offered).
and it's Particularly a system that (I think intentionally) disadvantages people who don't treat their channels like a job. hobbyists or niche creators who don't create regularly enough or aren't popular enough to meet whatever Vague criteria needs to be met to pass.
markiplier would have no problem passing, your little brother might not be able to. and while Mark's name is already out there there's no reason why your little brother's should be too.
something like pinned comments may seem simple, you don't technically Need it. but it's a feature that's been available for years. most people don't look at descriptions anymore. so when there's relevant information that needs to be delivered then the pinned comment is usually the go to.
for my little channel that information is about the niche series I create for. guides on how to get into the series, sources on where to find the content At All (and reliably so). for other creators it can be used for things Much More Important.
Moreover, if we let them get away with cutting away "small" features and selling it back to you for the price of your privacy, then they Will creep further. they Will take more.
Note: I have an update to this post here: [Link]
#enshittification#discourse#youtube#google#evillious chronicles#evillious#ec#this isn't overtly About that fandom#but it is#because it affects how I'm able to run my channel going forwards#I have no clue if I'm going to pass whatever 'test' they're giving my channel#so it's possible there won't be any pinned comments under the tobimisa channel ever again#I won't be able to edit old ones either#as that unpins the comment#which I won't be able to pin again
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An open letter to @staff
I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.
The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.
Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.
This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.
This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.
Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.
You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.
Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.
This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.
You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.
The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.
You can do so much better than this.
Response to the Update
Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.
I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.
Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.
People read it that way because that is what you said.
*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:
136,635 votes breaks down thusly:
An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)
Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)
This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)
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yet another thing i really like about dungeon meshi:
a lot of ink has been spilled on this idea that "people dont have autism/ADHD the problem is actually capitalism". usually paired with the notion that in agrarian societies being neurodiverget was actually super useful and that neurodivergent people would have been content with menial tasks like sorting berries or watcing over cattle, instead of the modern fallen state in which we find ourselves where we have to go to 9 to 5 jobs and sit in boring offices all day or whatever.
i wont rehash all the reasons this is clearly nonesense, instead what i will do is point out how brilliant ryoko kui was, yet again, for finding the way of eating her cake and keeping it too. dungeon meshi is clearly this power fantasy consisting of "what if your hyperfixation was actually extremely useful and was the thing that allowed you to thrive in this niche field". so in this case laios autism actually works almost as a superpower for him.
but then every single detail we come to learn about his past shows us how incredibly maladapted he was to the life he was born in. he couldnt meet his parent's expectations or those of his town, he couldnt fit in the army as a soldier, living on his own at a caravan he was malnourished, dirty, dressed in tatters and covered in fleas. and even after he manages to establish himself as an adventurer he gets constantly taken advantage by other people.
a lot of the reason why he is thriving in the story is because he is a) in the very specific niche of circumstances where his peculiarities actually are incredibly useful, in a dungeon filled with monsters where he doesnt have to deal with other people and b) surrounded by people who are either just as weird as he is or care about him deeply (or are consumate professionals like chilchuck)
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Some of My Favorite Batfam Fic Tropes
In no particular order:
- The batfam have their own language of chirps, trills, tweets, and whistles, and they use it in front of other ppl (civilians, the jla, whatever) and the other ppl go “what the actual fuck”
- Bruce throwing the batarang at Jason Todd’s neck actually Does Damage(TM), and eventually the other members of the family find out and lose their shit
- “Hey Tim?” “Yeah?” “Where’s your fucking spleen :)” “Lost it.” “LOST IT??”
- Damian calling his brothers Akhi :)
- “How many kids do you HAVE??” -The entire Justice League
- Jason going to Titans Tower, seeing Tim, saying “is anyone gonna parent that” and then not waiting for an answer.
- Literal Toddler Tim Drake informing the Batfamily that yes he knows everyone’s identity, and really if you didn’t want people to figure it out you should stop showing off your extremely niche skills during patrols Nightwing.
- “Dude your son is a crime boss.” “Ex-crime boss :/”
- A Batfamily member hearing someone talk about their civilian identity (bc, yknow,, they’re famous) and just having to Deal With It because what the fuck else are they supposed to do??
- The Justice League hearing about Batman and assuming he (& his family) are demons or vampires or some other cryptid, and then meeting him and finding out he’s just Some Guy.
- The batfamily learning the origin of the name Robin
- The Justice League meeting the Batfamily and specifically learning who Red Hood is, and one of the heroes nervously asks “Didn’t the second Robin.. die?” and Jason just goes “yeah lol”
Edit // If ur seeing this original post by itself, I already posted a fic rec list related to these tropes :)
#fic#ao3#fic tropes#dc#batman#justice league#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#titans tower#dick grayson#nightwing#damian wayne#robin#i am literally begging for fic recs#batfamily
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